Is there such a thing as a right or wrong decision? What makes a good or bad decision? Does our background affect our judgment, and does our judgment affect how we are perceived by others?
One Saturday afternoon this fall, my dad dropped me off at Treadwell Park to play basketball. For the first ten minutes, I played alone, aimlessly shooting hoops. When I noticed two teenage boys about my age playing together on the other side of the court, I immediately wanted to join in.
It took me awhile to muster the courage to talk to them, but when I finally did and they said yes, it was a huge relief.
I played one-on-one, in a game to ten, with each of them. Next, we played Twenty-one, a game where we each try to get twenty one points. I schooled them in the first game, but at the end of the second game, something unexpected happened.
I had nineteen points, so I only needed one basket to win.
That was when a group of high school students who knew the kids I was playing with started calling them from outside the court. After assuring me that they would be right back and that they just wanted to talk to their ‘friends’ for a little while, they stepped off the court. Despite their assurance, five minutes turned to ten, and ten minutes turned to fifteen.
I was just about the call out them and ask them if we were really going to finish up the game when I saw it; they were smoking.
At first, I was in denial. It was a chilly day, so I thought that maybe I was just seeing their breath. I exhaled deeply to try and see if I could see mine, too, but I could not. It was not cold enough for that. That was definitely a smoke cloud.
I have seen plenty of kids at my school smoking, so I am used to seeing it. Even so, I am very against the practice. The kids I played with just did not seem like the type of kids who would succumb to peer pressure. Honestly, I did not how to feel or what to make of the situation.
At that moment, Dad, who was looking at me and saw that I had stopped moving, but could not see the kids smoking behind him, asked if I was ready to leave. Prompted by his question, I made my decision. Avoiding eye-contact with the group of smoking teenagers, I hopped into Dad’s car without another word. I did not like to associate with people who smoked. I just never understood why people would intentionally harm their bodies like that.
But as soon as we drove off, I started to feel guilty. Since when was a coward who ran away from his problems? Should I have asked them if we were done playing? To leave without saying goodbye and without finishing the game made me feel ashamed of myself. All I did was judge them. There is something to be said about my character. Did I make the right choice for walking away from something I did not believe in, or should I encouraged them into not smoke? It was a very awkward and uncomfortable situation for me.
And what about them? Hanging out with a group of kids who smoked just so they could seem cool? It is obviously a bad decision, but is it wrong? Were they bad people because they decided to smoke? Also, do I have the right to say that I’m against smoking if I did not take any actions to stop them? Do I have the right to judge them?
I thought I made a good choice to start opening up to people, even if they were strangers. How else do you make friends? However, after this transaction, I had mixed feelings.
I do believe that our decisions define us. However, whether they are right or wrong is entirely up to opinion. I could not tolerate playing against basketball with people who smoked just to look cool because it’s against my moral code, so I walked away. The kids I played with decided that they wanted to hang out with kids who smoke rather than finish our game. When I talked the situation over with my mom, dad, and sister, they all said that I made the right decision, but really, people define ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ according to their own ethics. All people can really do is be true to themselves and stand by their decisions. If we make a bad choice, we must move on. That’s just how life is.