Parenting Styles

Having children requires parents to decide on a style that works best for both the child and themselves. This is often a tough balance though as each style comes with benefits and drawbacks. 

Styles differ but most parents also change with each child. Most profess to be harder on their first child because they tend to worry more, and  while the second, third, fourth etc. child has more freedom   and to learn from their own mistakes.

“I actually think that I was harder on my son but that might have been because he was the oldest and this was my first experience parenting in these situations,” said O’Connell.

Both parents and children seem to recognize this difference.

“I think that my mom and dad were a lot more strict  with me than they are with my sister.I also think they don’t punish her like they don’t punish me when I get in trouble. If I were to act out like she does I would have been grounded, but she doesn’t even get yelled at,” NHS sophomore Edie Kaplan said.

There are four main parenting styles according to The Mayo Clinic. These styles include Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, and Neglectful. 

An authoritative   parent style involves a parent who is an attentive listener to their child’s opinions, but there is also a clear line of authority between the parent and the child. The goal of an authoritative parent is to raise an independent child; but to also develop a stable long-lasting relationship with their child. 

Authoritarian parenting is a stern rule, holding their children to high expectations, using punishment to manage behavior. According to The National Library of Medicine, children who were raised with authoritarian parenting are more likely to show difficulties making decisions and controlling their emotions. 

Although these two styles seem alike they differ in communication styles, ways of discipline, and rules. With authoritative parenting, there is often a two-way communication style. On the other hand, Authoritarian parenting will use a one-way communication style. With discipline, an authoritative parent will generally use guidance and teaching as a way of parenting. An authoritarian parent will use punishment and force as a form of discipline. As for rules, an authoritarian  parent will have explained rules that are often flexible. An authoritative parent will have clear-cut rules, with no explanation needed.

Permissive parenting is known as becoming the child’s best friend. The parent and the child have a very close knit relationship. Parents with these parenting styles pride themselves on open communication,  and lack of discipline. According to The Mayo Clinic children of permissive parenting can result in picky eaters, an unhealthy diet, and difficulty in social settings. 

Neglectful parenting is more focused on fulfilling the child's basic needs. After fulfilling those needs, little attention is given. This style of parenting is most times not chosen but happens over time. This can be due to work schedules, being a single parent, or mental health struggles. Children of neglectful parents tend to result as self- sufficient, but also might not have efficient coping mechanisms. 

“The best form of parenting, in my opinion, would be authoritative. It gives the child the opportunity to make the right choice, and if they don’t make the right choice the parent can step in and guide them towards the right choice.  Authoritarians are super strict, therefore the child will never learn how to make their own choices. They’ll also never learn how to fail because their parents are going to be the ones that are doing everything for them,” NHS social studies teacher Jessica Metz said. 

It is important to remember that every child has different needs and it is important to find a parenting style that works for the child and the parent. Although neglectful parenting may not ‘sound like parenting’ it is often not a choice. Parenting is not ‘one-size fits all.’